Life, Pain and Love
by xXFallen-Angel-Of-DarknessXx
Summary: An angst story about a girl that lives in the same house as Henrietta after an unfortunate accident. PetexOc Possible slight onesided MichaelxOc.


**Heey! Okay so this is My first South Park FF and it is gonna be pretty detailed cause i'm one of those people who needs details. It'll be a short story but long chapters! There will be a couple of mistakes and stuff so if you see any message me and i'll fix it up. **

**Also the characters are now teenagers between 16-18 except Firkle who would be 13-14. **

**WARNING: Angst, Trigger Warning! (so if any one cuts or get the urge to Please dont read this!), small sexual references. **

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Life is full of things and feelings. There's sadness, grief, sorrow, heartbreak, betrayal and they all lead to one thing…pain. Life also has fun, friendship and more importantly family. And all of those things make happiness. But as soon as you lose one of those things that make you happy, you start to feel that pain. The pain of reality. Happiness is just an illusion that we can all want to feel. The reality is that this world that we all live on is full of pain and war. We all want to run from the things that make us feel scared we try to be brave and face them but sometime all it brings is more pain. And were all scared of the pain of reality. To lose something or someone close to us and feel pain.

There are only two types of pain, the physical pain that everyone flinches at and that could leave a physical scar that would fade in time. Some people would flaunt it around shamelessly knowing that they got through the pain and are proud of it and themselves for getting through it and that that scar is a reminder, or the ones their ashamed of and try their best to keep them hidden . And then there is emotional pain. The type of pain that is the worst, it's the pain that scars you mentally, the one you try your best to hide so that nobody can see but you know it there. And the thing is, these ones like physical scars can fade but it doesn't heal by itself. That is true pain.

They say that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel but the thing is how long would you have to tread in the darkness to see that light, what if you're walking in the wrong direction and deeper into the darkness and you feel lost and don't know which way to go. Or are you afraid of that light, and scared that it would be too bright that you would close your eyes to block it out and open them just to find yourself in the dark again. And would you even try to find the light…or would you prefer to stay in that darkness alone where you know you're alone and can't get hurt, where you're in control.

That's where I'm at the moment; I'm in that tunnel the dark and lonely tunnel where I feel safe like no one else can hurt me, but me. I'm sitting on the ground with my lower half of my back pressed up against the bathroom wall my knees pressed against my chest tightly with my upper back hunched forward with my chin resting on my knees with my long sleeved black and grey striped t-shirt sleeves rolled up to my elbows, my left wrist flipped over in front of me revealing my thin pale wrist ridded with even pale white thin healed cleanly cut diagonally scars that stand out on the otherwise smooth surface. Looking at each one I turn my expressionless gaze to my other hand that's was hugging my legs. Clutched firmly in my right hand is a sharp razor blade shining as the artificial light in the closed off bathroom reflects off it silver surface. As I stare intensely at the blade I slowly bring the sharpness to my exposed left wrist and slowly slide the blade across a previous scar softly reopening the wound and bring the blade a little higher doing the same thing as I did before. As I move the blade from my wrist completely it falls to the floor in front of my bare feet as I let it slip from my grasp barely paying attention to it as little access blood on it sprays lightly on the floor and millimetres from my black painted toe nails as it clatters on the floor lightly. I'm too busy staring at the freshly cut wounds as small droplets of red begin to sprout to the surface and start to fall slowly down my wrist to the clean white tiled floor staining it red.

I let out deep sigh as I begin to feel myself relax and let my back ease up and pressed it fully up against the wall with the back of my head leaning back against the wall my eyes blissfully closed and I can feel my face relax into a calm expression. This is the only way I can feel truly peaceful and controlled. This is my outlet of all my emotions I hate crying because crying makes me feel weak like a little kid that cries over a scraped knee. Crying doesn't get you anywhere. The blood that drips from my wounds is my tears and sadness. I don't cry.

After about a minute I opened my eyes slowly feeling better than I did before and got to cleaning up the mess I made. I lightly push myself off from the using the wall to take some support off of my cramped legs being careful to not get any blood on my shirt or my black skinny jeans, once I'm fully up I carefully stretch my limbs to get the stiffness out of my bones and the faint pins and needles in my legs. Then I walk slowly over to the sink and turn the faucet to let the cool water run freely from the tap and put my scarred wrist under the running water. I slightly wince and tense up as the cold water makes contact with my warm wrist and fresh wounds sending a slight jolt of pain through my body then suddenly relax as a soothing sensation run through me as my wounds get use to the water and cleans them. Once that's done I turn off the faucet and gently pat on the cuts with a plush black towel and throw it in the hamper next to the sink and expect my wounds, there not deep which is good I don't want to intentionally do that. Then I open the mirror medicine cabinet above the sink to get out the disinfected and gauges to treat my cuts. Once there cleaned up and wrapped I get the bleach and an old rag out of the cabinet under the sink and get to quickly cleaning up the blood on the floor before it stains. Once everything was cleaned up and in order I hid the blade in my back pocket and rolled down my sleeves that reach just above my knuckles to cover the bandaged wrist and unlocked the door and left the bathroom once I closed the door I quickly turned around eager to get back to my room.

Just as a took a hurried step I unconsciously clenched my eyes tight together and made a slight squeaking noise as I walked straight into someone and went crashing to the floor landing directly on top of the person I crashed into making them let out a slight 'oof' on impact with the floor and added weight of me on top of them, this wouldn't of happened if I was paying attention and not looking at the floor. I feel slightly woozy from the sudden movement and the blood loss from my previous bathroom session.

I take a sharp intake of breath inhaling the scent of cigarettes and spice cologne. I can feel my cheeks flame up from embarrassment and shyly looked up from the black button up shirt the person is wearing to meet the shocked black rimmed hazel eyes of the Goth, Pete. ''O-oh my go-…I am so sorry" I softly stuttered out my apologies as I scramble to lift myself off of him but as soon as I put pressure on my left wrist to push me self from him I let out a painful wince and fell back into his chest.

I can't believe I just knocked over one my 'sisters' friends, I feel so stupid. I can feel my entire face flush a brighter red than his dyed dark red roots from my humiliating fall and quickly pushed myself from him taking care to not put too much pressure on my now throbbing wrist with the help of him lightly helping me up by gently pushing me up by my shoulders. Once I'm fully standing up I quickly hold my right hand out to Pete to help him stand up from the ground I rudely crashed him into, head bowed down embarrassingly staring at the light green carpeting with my black hair covering most of my face trying to hide my embarrassment while lightly chewing on the corner of my bottom lip. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence and my still empty hand I lifted my head to stare at the older goth to find him confusingly staring at my pale hand as if determining if he should take it. Then he moved his eyes to stare in my own questionably as to say 'why should I let you help me? You knocked me down in the first place' I replied to the silent question by flicking my eyes to my hand and back to his. Than he just released an agitated sigh and brought his hand to mine and let me help him up.

Once up he quickly flicked his head to the side to moves his long black and red bangs from his Hazel eyes, I returned my hand back to my side and stared at the ground embarrassingly not knowing what to do. I heard him softly sigh as he began to speak in soft and slightly scratchy voice that sends slight shivers down my spine "You should pay more attention when walking conformist."

"A-a-ah y-yeah I-I'm-. " I quickly cut myself off before I embarrass myself anymore and closed my eyes let out an agitated sigh at my annoying stuttering that makes me sound quite pitiful, licked my dry lips and raised my head and opened my black rimmed eyes to meet his and emotionlessly finished of my sentence to hide my emotion not stuttering but still softly "I'm sorry it's my own stupid fault, I hope I haven't hurt you. " I apologized with full meaning before gaining a questioning look and asking him mindlessly before he had a chance to answer "umm if you don't mind me asking, why are you out of Henrietta's room?" before feeling my face flush again realising how rude that sounded. Quickly trying to correct my rudeness I quickly added "not to be rude of anything! It's just that you guys are normally always in there and only come out is together when leaving or u-u-uh u-using the toilet which is the opposite way you came from." Which is true, the toilet is opposite to the bathroom only a little further up. And further up from that is Henrietta's room and on the opposite side down near the end of the house is my room. "Not that I watch you guys all the time! Or that it's any of my business!" with my eyes wide open I flush a really bright red I swear my whole face must look like a tomato I close my eyes as I try to hastily correct myself of further embarrassing myself. "Just don't worry about it okay, forget I said anything" I said to him.

Quickly tuning around away from Pete getting ready to flee to my room I stop short as I hear a quiet chuckle behind me. Quickly twisting my upper body around with my mouth opened in a small 'o' to stare shocked at the red Goth behind me to find him with his head bowed down trying to hide his pale face with his long fringe but I can see the slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips muffling his laughs. I'm in complete shock; this is the last thing I would expect to happen be to make a Goth smile much less chuckle. As quickly as it happened it was gone, he raised his head back up and with a flick of his head his fringe moved to reveal an emotionless face like what happened never happened and looked at me with his usual bored eyes and replied to me ''whatever. And to answer your question, I was coming up from the kitchen down stairs."

"Ooh." I said lamely closing my mouth in a tight line turning my whole body around to face him completely seeing if there was something else he was going to say. Damn my curious nature.

"Some smoke got stuck in the back of my throat and it was really irritating me, so I went down stairs to get a drink of water to wash it down before my eyes started to water and wreck my eye-liner." He replied in more detail "I didn't want to bother to fix it up" he said sighing as if the thought of doing it was really bothersome to him.

I held in my surprise from hearing him speak so many words. I don't really know him much but I can tell just by his voice that he doesn't talk very much and I was expecting him to say something more on the lines of 'shove off its not of your business conformist' . "Oh okay, I should go now I don't want to keep your friends waiting." I said to him softly, hoping that Henrietta and the rest of her friends don't come out to investigate why their friend is taking so long. So I tuned on my heal head down but eyes trained up walking down the hallway to my room. "cya around" I said to him before he was out of hearing reach.

As I was closing my door I heard him say so quietly that I almost thought it was my imagination. "Hopefully" then I heard the sound of Henrietta's door closing from further down the hall signalling that he was back in her room.

Once my bedroom door was closed I put my back up against it and sighed out of relief and slid down the door so I was sitting on the plush dark purple carpet. That was my first ever encounter with one of my 'sisters' friends and it was nerve wracking, I had no clue what to say but it's over with now and hopefully it won't happen again.

From a sudden throbbing pain on my wrist I just remembered the pain my wrist had to endure from that fall. My small conversation with Pete completely took all my attention off from the pain on my wrist. I rolled my left sleeve up to my elbow unwrapped the bandage and quickly inspected the cuts to make sure they haven't re-opened and luckily they haven't.

So after I quickly re-wrapped my wrist up I played a couple of hours on my Xbox even though it is pretty late at least quarter til 12. During half way I heard my 'sisters' friends leave, and once they left I heard a quick knock on the door and Henrietta entered my room and I gave her a quick glance before concentrating on the game without a word she grabbed the other controller and sat on the spot next to me on the bed and joined in with me on the game. This is something that would happen often, when her friends leave late at night and she's bored she'll join me in my room and we'll play video games together and when she gets tired she would leave to her room without a word, and I like it that way.

It first started when her mum convince her to talk to me saying that I would feel better getting along with someone, so after much nagging on Mrs Biggle part Henrietta marched up to my room to escape from her mother's constant nagging and as she entered my room she saw me sitting on my bed curtains closed playing Xbox. From the angry and agitated look in her eyes I could tell what happened to without saying anything I paused the game and held out the spare controlled to her not looking her in the eyes scared that she'll yell at me. But with a quick glance at her I saw her looking at me and her eyes start to soften til she was no longer angry and she let out her agitation in a sigh and wordlessly joined me. I quietly gave her a few instructions on how to play before she started to get the hang of it and we just played the only noise was from the game. And that's how's it been.

Once Henrietta went to her room I chucked on my pyjamas which consist of baggy dark purple pj pants with black polka dots and a plain black singlet and jumped on my bed under the dark red doona cover and fell into a sleep full of nightmares.

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**Okay so there's the first chap the next one there will be more interaction between my Oc and the Goths. i 'll try to bring it out ASAP but i'm pretty busy with Christmas being very close and all haha.**

**Also its my Birthday today! i turned 16 and i already feel old.**

**So please review thanks :D **


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